


Last One Out of the Lair

by SuuriSakara



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Fluff, One Shot, Shameless Plot Theft, alcohol use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2019-03-31 11:57:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13974630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuuriSakara/pseuds/SuuriSakara
Summary: I turned my head, ever so slightly, and there she was: long fiery locks leaking out the back of her helmet, icy sapphire eyes locked on mine, just barely visible through her tinted visor. I could make out the squint of another amused grin, feeling a blush creep across my cheeks, just as she revved her engine and pulled ahead of us. Sensing she was toying with me, I felt compelled to floor the gas pedal, and slowly crept back alongside the mystery woman.---Michelangelo and Casey are going to a rock concert, and tagging along is...Donatello?Plot and select dialogue stolen from Steven Universe S04E06, "Last One Out of Beach City".





	Last One Out of the Lair

            Even from safely within the confines of my lab, I could tell Mikey was being a nuisance. It would take blast-proof glass to drown out the sound of him cheering and bouncing off the walls of the lair, jarring Leo from his meditation and Raph from his workout.

            “Michelangelo, how can you possibly have this much energy right after training?” Leo stood up from his mat in the dojo. “Do I need to assign you extra katas again?”

            “Uh, dude, tonight’s the night Casey, Raph, and I are going to see Coheed and Cambria! How could I _not_ have this much energy?”

            “Sorry, Mike, but Raph is still grounded for another week, and I’m not sure how I feel about you and Casey going up to the surface by yourselves.”

            “Grounded, yeah right…” Raph grumbled to himself. “Don’t even care about that stupid pop-punk bullshit, just wanted to hit the mosh pits…”

            “But _Leeeo_ …” Mikey fell to his knees, giving his best puppy-dog eyes. “Casey’s gonna be here any minute! Plus, when’s the next chance I’m gonna get to hear Claudio Sanchez totally shred and wail about the dude who created the energy force binding Heaven’s Fence together?”

            “Uh…created the what?” He cocked an eyebrow.

            “Wait, Claudio Sanchez?” I stood up from my lab bench and leaned in through the door-frame. “Mikey, you mean the author of the Amory Wars is performing a concert?”

            “Dude.” He turned to me with a look of both pride and shock. “First of all, hands off my comics, bro. Just ask first. Second, ch-yeah, you didn’t know he was the singer of Coheed? Singing about the Amory Wars is, like, their whole deal!”

            “Donnie, you seriously been reading his dweeby comics?” Raph snorted.

            “They’re graphic novels, really.” I deflected. “Besides, they have more in common with Orson Scott Card’s _Ender’s Game_ series than they do with the usual Justice Force drivel he usually reads.”

            “It’s settled, then!” Mikey appeared at my side without warning, latching himself onto my arm. “D can come with me and Casey!”

            “Don, are you sure this is what you want?” Leo wondered. “Loud music, people pushing each other…”

            “Hey, I’ve done my fair share of…pushing.” I gave Mike a little mock-push to the bicep, and with dramatic effect he clutched his arm and fell to the floor.

            “Ooh, I think it’s broken!” he wailed.

            “I can handle myself, Leo.” I shifted back to him. “Besides, I can take them in the Party Wagon. And _someone_ ’s got to keep an eye on Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum; it may as well be me this time.”

            “Alright, D!” Mike pumped a fist in the air. “Now, we just gotta think of a disguise that’ll work…”

 

* * *

 

 

            “I dunno, D.” Mike eyed me up and down, fingers clutching his chin through the bandana of his own costume. I peered at my reflection in the bodega window. Between the black Yankees cap, black leather jacket, black jeans, and black boots, I thought I looked more like a hoodlum or some kind of urban ninja than a rock concert attendee. Thankfully, the only light nearby was a streetlight, meaning my green skin didn’t stand out too much. “I think you look pretty good!”

            “Oh yeah?” I shot him a smug grin. “Watch this.” I undid the snaps on the edges of the jacket’s collar, and popped it up, covering my neck.

            “ _Daaamn_!” he hollered. “You a natural!”

            “Alright, boys.” Casey exited the shop as the door’s buzzer rang, sliding his fake ID back into his wallet and clutching a damp, lumpy paper bag. “Lokos all around!”

            “Lokos?” I eyed the bag curiously as he opened it, revealing three fluorescently-colored camouflage cans.

            “Like an energy drink and a forty-ounce mixed together.” He tossed one to Mike. “Don’t tell Leo I got these for you, dudes.” Holding one out in my direction, I reached out, but he jerked it away from me at the last moment. “And _definitely_ don’t drink yours until we get to the show.”

 

* * *

 

 

            “So, tell me a little more about what kind of show this is.” I turned back to look at Casey, who was nursing the last drops of his can before I’d even put the keys in the ignition.

            “Well, Coheed’s basically, like, some neo-prog pop-punk post-hardcore stuff.” I gave him a confused glare as I flicked the key, and the engine puttered to life. “Some of their tracks are a little…screamy, I guess, but for the most part it’s really just hard rock with a crazy talented singer.

            “All kinds of people are into them, so the crowd should be a pretty cool mix.” Mike added, belching and crushing his can before tossing it to the back of the van. “You name it: comic geeks, emos, punks…” A motorcycle pulled up in front of us, and as the rider took off their helmet, I couldn’t believe my eyes: clad in a tight leather jacket like my own, only one riddled with an armor of steel studs and vibrant patches, stood a towering woman shaking out her long auburn hair, a number of piercings adorning her ears, and one broad ring in the center of her lips. “…Like her!” I was utterly transfixed by the sight before me; she had an air of familiarity about her, but was simultaneously so exotic, like a well-known actress in some dystopian post-apocalyptic movie…

            “WHAAAAAMP!” A horn resounded behind us, and I nearly shot straight through the roof of the van as I realized I was in neutral, slowly drifting out into the traffic of the street. Shifting into drive and pulling out, I noticed the red-haired lady shooting an amused grin in our direction, seemingly looking right into my soul with her piercing blue eyes.

 

* * *

 

 

            “Okay…” Mike piped up from the passenger seat. “Nobody’s gonna say it? She kinda looked like April.” I froze upright in my seat. “You noticed, I noticed, we all noticed.”

            “Oh!” Casey cackled from the back, tossing his head up. “That’s why you were acting like such a goon!”

            “No, no, that’s not it!” I stammered. “I was just…surprised to see a human firsthand with that much metal in their face. I always thought it must be painful.”

            “Why don’t you ask her, Casanova?” Mike prodded, and I heard a powerful rumbling engine pull along my left side. “She’s driving right next to us.”

            “Ah!” I gasped involuntarily, my hat beginning to feel like it was filling up with steam. “Is she…looking at me?”

            “I dunno, D, why don’t you check…” Casey teased. “Not yet…okay, you can look…now!”

            I turned my head, ever so slightly, and there she was: long fiery locks leaking out the back of her helmet, icy sapphire eyes locked on mine, just barely visible through her tinted visor. I could make out the squint of another amused grin, feeling a blush creep across my cheeks, just as she revved her engine and pulled ahead of us. Sensing she was toying with me, I felt compelled to floor the gas pedal, and slowly crept back alongside the mystery woman.

            “Woah, bro, where’s _this_ Don been hiding my whole life!” Casey cheered. She accelerated even harder, zipping ahead through a yellow light. “What’s your plan?”

            “New Don.” I smirked, shifting the van into its top gear and clearing the crosswalk just a moment after the light had turned to red. “No plan.”

            “Well, you better come up with one quick, dude!” Mike craned his head back to examine the red and blue lights creeping up behind us, a siren beginning to click and whir at us.

            “What do I do?” I felt all color drain from my face. “The van hasn’t been registered in, what, five years? And none of us have a license!”

            “I…” Casey piped up.

            “A _real_ license, Jones.” There was no way to outrun a police cruiser in a vehicle as ancient and weight-laden as ours. The woman on the bike had caught wind of the lights behind us, and smartly hooked a sharp left turn down a side street. It gave me an idea. “Buckle up.”

            Calibrating my own mental map of the streets in this part of town, I waited until a side street appeared on our right, and at the last possible moment, yanked the wheel hard. With a deafening screech, we careened off the main thoroughfare, narrowly avoiding clipping a light post. Not bothering to see if they were still on our tail, I hooked a hard left down a dark alleyway, losing traction and skidding on two wheels into the loading dock behind a boarded-up restaurant. As soon as we landed back on all four tires, I killed the lights and engine, and we held our collective breaths as we watched for any lights up ahead.

            “D…” Casey panted after a few moments had passed. “That…was…epic, dude!” He snaked his hands around my seat, gripping me by the shoulders and shaking me furiously.

            “Bro, I couldn’t even pull that off in GTA, let alone real life!” Mike swooned. “Come on, get this baby back in gear, the show starts in, like, five minutes!”

            I started the engine, but something felt strange as I turned the steering wheel, like a grating sensation. Similar to the sound of metal on concrete…Terrified, I hopped out of the van and craned over to examine the damage.

            “Four flats.” I slapped my forehead. “Tires probably haven’t been changed in five years, either.”

 

* * *

 

 

            “I can’t believe this.” I rubbed at my temples as we paced down the Harlem sidewalks, trying to quell the impending headache.

            “Huh?” Casey sounded.

            “I was so ready! I really wanted to see this show, drink this Four Loko, go in a mosh pit…I don’t know, I wanted to have fun, for once! As much fun as you guys would be having if Raph was allowed to come!”

            “D, just listen to yourself!” Casey soothed. “You’re so hardcore, bro! Who cares about drinks? You gunned it from the cops!”

            “Yeah, dude.” Mike planted a hand on my shoulder. “You’re a criminal now!”

            “Now?” I tried my best to crack a smile. “We’ve been criminals for years, bro.”

            Before he could respond, both Mike and Casey froze in their tracks, trying to decipher a muffled roar of sound coming from a block away.

            “ _The sinking warmth through obscurity,_

_Beyond the suite in between where and what you’re doing,_

_There is a view of an uncharted place,_

_Where you’re the brunt of the joke and everyone’s laughing_ …”

            “Is that…” Casey started, his face setting aglow as he ran towards the ruckus.

            “Key Entity Extraction Four!” Mike jumped with joy, and I sprinted to keep up with them.

            “Evagria the Faithful!” They both cheered, stopping in their tracks in front of an unassuming brick venue.

            “Dude, we can still catch most of the second act!” Casey hi-fived Mike, before turning his head and pointing at a motorcycle, slowing to a halt just a few spaces down from the entrance to the club. “And check out who else made it!” She pulled off her helmet, and the same blush turned my cheeks a warm scarlet.

 

* * *

 

 

            “Was that awesome, or was that awesome?” Mike asked, slapping my carapace as we exited the building.

            “I never expected music so coarse to be able to convey the plot points of the Afterman series so effectively…” I admitted. “So, yeah, it was awesome!”

            “My ears are gonna be ringing for weeks!” Casey screamed. “Psyched we could make it to the front even after showing up late!”

            “Why didn’t you come with us, D?”

            “I was…having fun, toward the back.” I shied away from their dumbfounded looks coyly.

            “No, you didn’t…”

            “You talked to her?”

            “Maybe…”

            “Spill the beans, Donnie.” Casey prodded. “How’d it go?”

            “Well…” My desire to play it cool was overpowered by the excitement bubbling within. “Okay, first I asked her about her jacket, and then she asked about mine, and I told her we found it in a sewer underneath a biker bar, and she said ‘Capitalism, right?’ Oh! And then I added, ‘By the way, I could tune your bike up and replace the cylinders with Kraang-tech power cells, which would give you an estimated top speed of three-hundred-and-eighty-seven miles an hour, assuming negligible wind resistance.”

            “And…how’d that go over?” Mike raised an eyebrow at me.

            “Not…very well.” I sighed. “She walked off after giving me some sort of code.” I reached into my breast pocket, unfolding the rumpled piece of napkin reading, “S. 3015550189”

            “Donnie…” Casey gasped. “You just got her phone number!”

            “You’re a total rockstar!”

**Author's Note:**

> Musical excerpt is from, as Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum declared, "Key Entity Extraction IV: Evagria the Faithful", by Coheed and Cambria.
> 
> I have no idea why the idea for this story hit me today, but I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
